Committing to Growth
A deep dive
“No mud. No lotus.” - Thich Naht Hanh
Four simple words. Yet loaded with so much meaning.
Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today’s edition of “Conscious living with Purnima”. Today’s topic is close to my heart. Hope you enjoy reading.
Committing to Growth
A deep dive
I am sure you have heard a lot about growth just as you probably have about gratitude or self love or forgiveness or kindness. Most of these ideas are great to talk about, but anyone who’s made any effort to put these ideas into practice, knows the struggle. So my intention through this post is not to advice you to commit to growth, something I know you will, when you are ready. But to share my own struggles & thoughts on how we can go about it.
What does it mean to grow?
I think this is an important question to answer else we cannot be active participants of this process.
To me, growth is the ability to overcome my limiting beliefs (many of which I am not even conscious of) & fears that prevent me from realizing my full potential. A potential that is not to be compared with anybody else’s. I believe that each of us has been given a unique life path - a set of life circumstances, experiences, & innate qualities, to work with & possibly rise above, so we can be better & do better, no matter what those circumstances, experiences & innate qualities are. And to me that is growth.
Kick-starting the process:
Before any change can happen, we first need to:
A. Completely own our past up to this point - all of our shortcomings, mistakes, failures, lessons, heartbreaks, successes, gains, EVERYTHING. And from that place of total acceptance, make the decision to grow, & do better
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” - Maya Angelou
B. Acknowledge that growth is messy, uncomfortable and takes time
“You don't just wake up and become the butterfly. Growth is a process.”- Rupi Kaur
Actions one can take:
A. Create reminders:
Did you know that Bruce Lee, carried around philosophical ideas written on small index cards as reminders throughout his day? A practice that helped to center him.
Now, that’s something we can learn from the great philosopher & imbibe into our own life. As humans we are forgetful, & so if something is important to us, then we need a reminder.
And here, the reminder is to adopt a growth mindset. When we cultivate a growth mindset, we become more open to receiving what life throws at us & are less likely to control or resist our experiences.
A simple daily affirmation for growth:
I grow through what I go through!
Repeat this to yourself. Even consider creating an index card like Bruce Lee.
B. Train your nervous system to tolerate discomfort:
Last week I was learning about ‘procrastination & ways to overcome it’, and came across something interesting about the human brain. When we look at something that we really rather not do, it seems that we activate the areas of our brain associated with pain. So our brain naturally looks for a way to stop that negative stimulation by switching our attention to something else. But here’s the thing - researchers discovered that not long after people start working on what they don’t like, that neurological discomfort disappears.
Use this important facet of the human brain, to start doing the things you have been avoiding. The things you know are necessary for your growth but feel uncomfortable.
C. Never stop learning, questioning, & being curious:
We cannot grow if we don’t challenge our habitual beliefs. We can do this by:
Interacting with diverse group of people, smarter than us, who challenge our ideas or make us think deep
Reading books, research papers, articles, etc. with an open mind to learn
Learning from experienced teachers through courses, podcasts, etc.
I do a lot of 2 & 3. And am amazed at just how many of my old assumptions get busted with the new stuff I learn.
D. Support others:
Each one of us, without exception, has incredible potential. For some it’s latent while for others it’s expressed. That’s the only difference. So when you see people, open your eyes to their potential, no matter who they are, how old or young they are, how able or unable they appear to you. Everyone deserves to grow, do better & be better.
I will share two instances on how this can be helpful, one from my own life & other I came across.
When I first started writing this newsletter, I remember one of my friends called me from the US to tell me how timely my post was, as I had written something about kick-starting a fitness routine & he felt inspired to start his walks. This particular friend also prods me to share my posts on my ‘School group’. A simple act from his side, but it plays a big role in giving me the push to share my work with more people & to continue writing. So never underestimate the power of a kind word or action. It may be the catalyst for someone’s growth.
And now, let me share with you the inspiring story of David Makadi, that I read about in an email from Stanford University, that I subscribe to.
David had spent much of his youth without parents, but had found his way to the seashore, where he would sketch people's portraits to earn a living. His talent didn't go unnoticed and he was soon approached by an educator who worked at an art school. She helped him to obtain a scholarship and he seized the opportunity and learned how to animate. As he went through school, he shared the lessons he was learning through a series of free instructional videos - in the hopes of sharing his skills with others who hadn't ended up at art school. He believes that, supporting talented young people, by helping them gain skills and education, improves their chances of reaching for the stars. And dreams of coming together as a global community to help people everywhere achieve their dreams - through education and empowerment. Do check out his first animated music video that got released this week: Remember you
It really touched my heart. Imagine what a beautiful world we would have if we all believed & thought like David Makadi.
E. Maintain Boundaries:
As much as I would like everyone to follow point D, that’s not how the world works. We do come across people who don’t see us or our dreams or our potential. And are wet blankets to our aspirations. Recognize them & learn to maintain healthy boundaries. Instead of using your energy to fight their dampening influence, use it to focus on the action steps you can take to continually build yourself.
As we come to the end of this post, I invite you to take some time to:
A. Reflect on these points & ask yourself what growth means to you,
B. Respond by writing back, or posting in comments your own struggles so I know I am not alone in mine
C. Act on the information by carving out your own action plan to be better & do better as you navigate through the rest of your life.
Leaving you with a quote by Audre Lorde for contemplation. I will see you again next week. Until then, take good care of yourself & endeavour to grow through whatever you go through!
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” - Audre Lorde
Nice one Puri. An in-depth analysis n sharing experiences, makes a lot of difference to people around us.