Environment and Cultural Conditioning
The need to face the harsh realities and navigate through them to support ourselves better
Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today's edition of 'Conscious living with Purnima’. In today's post I explore the importance of assessing one’s environment and cultural conditioning. Let's get to it.
Our environment and cultural conditioning has a powerful influence in shaping our mindset & our habits. We can be thwarted in our efforts to thrive when we don't pay attention to these.
'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' - C.G. Jung
If we were to take the analogy of a plant, you will agree with me when I say that without insufficient sunlight or nutrients the plant can only grow so much. You will not say that the plant is not prioritising itself for growth.
But when it comes to humans, we are prone to judge. As a newbie fitness coach, I was quick to write off clients who would be inconsistent. I would think to myself, "can't they see the results that the more consistent clients are getting? Still they don't show up. Obviously, they don't prioritise themselves"
Today I am wiser. I know it is not as straightforward as that. Sometimes there is a genuine environmental constrain or a mindset issue that's not easy to unravel.
I know that some of you who are reading this and work with me are struggling to show up for classes this month. I see you and your struggle. My advice to you: “Don't look to the people who are consistently showing up and think that you have failed. That's not true. Your brain is prioritising things that it considers are necessary for immediate survival and fitness may not be one of those things for you right now. And that's ok. There is a lot you can do for your health that is not contingent on making it for a 60 min class. Don't hesitate to ask for help, & support yourself in the best way you can”.
Some of you are struggling to sit in meditation for more than 5 minutes while others are able to sit for 40. Pay attention to your lifestyle. Maybe you work in a highly stimulated environment, or you have too much of work pressure at the moment that prevents you from sitting still. It's ok. Let it go. Come back to it when you feel more ready. Your practice will be waiting for you with open arms.
We expend a lot of energy in guilt and comparison. We can instead choose to put that energy into taking small constructive steps working with our environment to the best of our abilities.
Conditioning & it's influences:
I am going to use self-care as an example to dig deeper into societal conditioning and its repercussions.
A lot is spoken about self-care in our society. Statements like 'take time for yourself’, or ‘do something for yourself’ are common. Now let’s look at the reality.
And I will speak for women first as over the years, through my own experiences and those of my clients, I have come to understand some of the deeply entrenched issues. Our typical societal conditioning is such where most boys (if not all) have grown up seeing their mothers serve the members of their family. They haven't been exposed much to mothers taking time 'for themselves'. So when they start seeing the woman in their life take time for herself, they may unconsciously resist it. Not because they are evil or anything. It's just that their nervous system is not familiar with it. Now take the women. They have spent their growing years seeing their mothers attend to others. So now taking time for themselves can make them feel guilty. While some women have learnt to be assertive and some have learnt to give themselves the permission for self-care, there are MANY who struggle.
Forget gender. No matter what your gender try this social experiment. Tell the people around you, 5 things that you are going to do "for yourself". Make sure to emphasize "for yourself" and notice the response you get. Most people will not warm up to that energy, even if they are your own people. It is considered as selfish. It's a cultural issue. And navigating these murky waters can be tricky. Despite it, it is imperative that we take care of ourselves.
I started this post drawing the analogy of plants. Luckily we are not plants and we CAN do more. But first we need to assess our own environment and cultural conditioning. We must recognise our struggles, own our struggles and then see what best we can do to support ourselves.
You know I quote Victor Frankl a lot in my posts. If you don't own a copy of "Man's Search For Meaning", then I highly recommend you do. It's one of my most precious possessions.
There is a powerful verse in the book where the author talks about being "worthy of our suffering". The paragraph reads-
"The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life. He may remain brave, dignified, and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation, he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not."
As a new week starts tomorrow, I invite you to pay attention to your own environment and see how it's supporting or impeding you to thrive. What cultural conditioning is stopping you from being your best version? Can you recognize your struggles? Can you own them and endeavour to take steps (baby steps count) to surmount them?
It will not be easy. I know because I am also a fellow traveler of life just like you with many struggles of my own.
But you must try.
We must try.
And keep trying. Because surmounting these struggles is where our growth lies. And it's never too late. Every breath, and every moment can be a fresh start.