Take a look at your life, and identify some of the areas where you would like to move forward, but find yourself stuck or unable to make progress.
In this post, I will help you unearth the reasons why you are failing, and then explore what you can do about it.
I have been doing this exercise with my own life and will share my personal experience with getting unstuck.
Reasons why we fail to see progress with some goals:
1. Not having a strong reason to pursue the goal. In other words, a weak "why" :
“He who has a why can endure any how" - Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philologist.
Looking back at my own life, I recall the time when I wanted to lose weight. My reason, was to get back to ‘training and coaching’. It was who I was - my identity. Which I seemed to have lost with all the excess weight and an unfit persona. This purpose was so strong that nothing could stop me from showing up for my workouts or following a healthy eating pattern that served my goal.
The same cannot be said of the progress I am currently making with my keyboard or singing skills. And also the lack of progress I am showing to wrap up and complete some of the specialist courses in the area of my work, that I signed up for this year.
On reflection, I realised that my reason to pursue these weren't strong enough to get me motivated and moving.
Now this definitely does not mean that I should slack in these areas just because motivation is lacking. We are not always going to have a "strong why" for everything we aspire for in life.
2. Inability to see how progress will improve life :
Going back to the same weight loss example, I could clearly see how my life would improve after getting fitter and losing excess weight - I would be a better example of what fitness can do, and regain my identity as a "fitness instructor".
Fast forward to now, as a fitness instructor, with a steady business going, how will additional specialisations, add value to my life or improve my existing business? Not having a clear understanding of this was causing slack.
As for progressing on hobbies, again, what difference is my proficiency going to make ?
Inability to see change, causes laxity.
3. Getting caught up with everyday life and not blocking time for practice:
This can lead to procrastination and eventual stagnancy. Which is exactly what had been happening to me.
In my fitness business, most of my time goes in maintaining existing client relationships, class planning , and some business development to acquire new clients. Caught up in this, I wasn't setting time aside for creating a better future for myself, which is contingent on 'current learning & growth'.
Also in the pursuit of my hobbies, pushing practice for whenever I found time ( which is never ) resulted in stagnation.
Some ways to get unstuck from this pattern & moving forward:
1. Acknowledge the struggle & identify the obstacles :
“The first step to change is awareness. The second is acceptance.” - Nathaniel Branden
First step is always awareness of what's going on. If you have been constantly procrastinating and avoiding a task, it's time to draw awareness to this tendency first. Question yourself on what's coming in the way.
Be realistic, & acknowledge the unique obstacles on your path.
No two people’s journey are the same. So resist the urge to compare yourself with someone else who may be better progressing than you, on the same goal.
Drawing awareness to my procrastination, helped me take the bull by the horns, so to speak & focus on solutions.
2. Be patient and consistent : Even though you may not be able to visualise the results, just learn to practice for the sake of the practice.
I came across this beautiful poem by Shaam Tabrizi, the teacher of the great Sufi poet, Rumi :
Patience does not mean to passively endure.
It means to look at the end of a process.
It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn.Impatience means to be shortsighted as
to not be able to see the outcome.
The lovers of God never run out of patience,
for they know that time is needed,
for the crescent moon to become full…”—Shaam Tabrizi
This really struck a chord with me. Patience pays and all I had to do was start small, but stay consistent.
So now, I have strictly blocked time for my daily studies, keyboard & singing practice ( a small amount of time, as its my hobby, but I ensure I spend that much )
3. Create stronger motivators & see if you can strengthen your “why” in someway : Some ways you can do this :
A. Make an announcement and share your plans to achieve something by a certain date to your family or friends.
B. Get an accountability partner. Maybe it's a common goal that you both are trying to reach. And can check in with each other.
C. Visualise progress. A little day dreaming of achievement can sometimes act as a fuel to get you in action.
D. Give yourself grace and time. Slow progress is anyday better than no progress.
E. Set aside one day of the week ( maybe it's the end of each week ) to do a progress check, so you can course correct if need be.
4. Things are not as difficult as they seem to be. Sometimes you just need to get the ball rolling : Most of the time, it's just overcoming the initial inertia. Once you get started, and be consistent, the momentum can be maintained. Atleast, that is what I am experiencing and I am finding my skills improve with daily practice, however small the practice time.
“There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hardwork, choices, and persistence.” - Michelle Obama
So this coming week, I would like you to look at one area of your life where you are experiencing stagnancy, identify the obstacles, and find a way through it, using some of the tips I have shared here. Let me know if it worked for you. Leave a comment or drop me a mail. I would love to hear about your journey 💕