Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today's edition of 'Conscious living with Purnima'. In today's post I talk about our divergent motivations of living our purpose & chasing our worth. And how this causes us suffering. I hope you relate.
Also, I have my other publication, 'Holistic Wellness with Purnima' up. I did 3 posts last week :) The enthusiasm of starting a new publication, you might think. But I feel it's more out of a need to connect more deeply with my clientele.
Now over to today's post.
Lets begin by defining Self-worth:
Whether we admit it or not, unconsciously we are always looking for this value. We ask ourselves, “am I worthy?”, “what's my worth?”
Our consciousness is bombarded with imageries and experiences that make us subconsciously create ideas in our head about what's worthy and what's not. Basis these ideas we strive to make ourselves more worthy.
As we get more driven to find our worth & increase it, we are drawn away from finding our purpose and living it.
Maybe it would be appropriate to define purpose here:
Inspiring literature tells us how each of us is unique and created for a special reason, with unique gifts to share and how we should embrace our individuality so we can offer to the world that which only we can.
Sounds great, isn't it?
We love reading lines like that but when it comes to action, we run after what everyone else is proposing. We care about purpose on paper but not in reality. In reality:
✨We attach worth to all of our actions, achievements and self-created identities, hash tagging and strengthening those identities, so our worth stays intact
✨We invite those people into our lives and long to be invited by those who appear worthy by our faulty notions of worth. No longer interested in creating heart-based connections or who truly aligns with our values
✨We compare ourselves with others with a total disregard to our own journey and then feel small
✨We put people (seemingly worthy) on pedestals and run after shiny objects
✨We try to stay busy not giving ourselves the permission to relax or slow down because in our heads busy=worthy
Our days are filled with actions aimed to maintain, strengthen and increase worth. A never satiating endeavour. Look around you and you will see many in this trap.
Now this might make you think that perhaps the ones who follow their purpose are happier & more fulfilled. Unfortunately, that is not true either.
The homemaker who takes joy in raising her kids and serving her family, something that gives her a sense of meaning and purpose is asked why she doesn't take up a job?
And the businesswoman who finds meaning in pursuing something she believes in is asked why she strives so hard?
And these people living their purpose are left wondering if they are doing something wrong. And begin to question their worth.
So, what's the way out?
The way out is to be mindful and aware of these dynamics and from your side:
✨Learn to see things clearly. End of the day the world is the way it is. And people are the way they are
✨Learn to navigate your world by paying close attention to spaces & people that feel like home, aligned to your values, and spaces & people that feel unsafe and dysregulate your nervous system. Ask yourself what & who is better for your well being
✨Muster the courage to ask yourself how you feel in different areas of your life. I used the word courage as sometimes we may find ourselves feeling less than enough in certain areas and avoid confronting them. Maybe we didn't pay attention or didn't know better. Whatever it is, we still need to take responsibility and do what we can to feel better in those areas. As Dr. Seuss says in 'Oh the places you'll go':
✨People's opinion of you will keep changing. Ask yourself how valuable is that changing opinion for which you suffer so much?
✨Develop a ritual or a practice that helps you come back to yourself - could be meditation, reflection, writing your thoughts down, anything. Prioritise one, else you will be pulled in all directions and lose yourself
End of the day, there is no right or wrong. But I do believe that we should strive to minimise our suffering. And despite what the world values chasing purpose is always better than chasing worth.
You are welcome to differ :)
Good one Puri. A realisation of oneself is more important, than, what others have to say about us.