Happy Friday!
And welcome to today’s edition of ‘Conscious living with Purnima’. Hope you had a good week and are looking forward to the weekend. In today’s post I will share with you two mindset shifts that I have been exploring to maintain my inner weather calm & peaceful. I find that these approaches help me feel more at ease with myself. You can try them out and let me know your experience. You know I only share with you that which I have tried, tested & felt from a deeper place :)
1. Acknowledge discomfort:
This idea is an extension of what I covered in my post ‘Embracing difficult emotions.’ Here I take it further to support embracing difficult experiences - past & present, completely owning our stories and fully accepting them. We may not be happy with these stories or be ready to talk about them, but acceptance is pivotal to maintaining a peaceful inner weather.
Because of our cultural conditioning of suppressing anything uncomfortable, avoiding discomfort, and always aspiring to feel and share nothing but good, we create a lot of unnecessary suffering.
And the discomfort that I am talking about is not just what we feel when we move out of our comfort zones but also other instances such as facing failures, acknowledging our unlived life, rejections, shortcomings, vulnerabilities and feelings of uncertainty on our path. I find being able to process my journey (the ups & the downs), how it has shaped me into being who I am, and being able to articulate that clearly (in my journal or to someone I trust) incredibly healing and energizing.
So, my suggestion to you is to resist the urge to suppress what doesn’t feel good - it could be anything. Allow the discomfort and face/feel it fully. Of course, I am not talking about extreme emotions such as grief, for which you may need a different approach & help from a qualified professional. But for everything else shift your mindset from avoidance to addressing.
Perhaps Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk tried to convey this very idea when he said:
“Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you; your feelings need you; your perceptions need you. The wounded child in you needs you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there for all these things. Practice mindful walking and mindful breathing. Do everything in mindfulness so you can really be there, so you can love.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
Allowing ourselves to acknowledge everything about us & our life: the good, the bad, & the ugly can help us feel more integrated and freer.
2. Feel more & be present with your everyday life experiences:
Ask yourself how present you are with your everyday life experiences. Do you pay attention to little things that can easily be missed like the twinkle in the eye of a stranger talking about something that’s important to them, feel of the rain on your skin leaving you refreshed or the after effect of a great workout/physical activity, beauty of nature when you are out on a walk. Do you take the time to savor these moments? Or are you preoccupied with that next project, next goal, or next vacation? In this materialistic world of ours, we cannot escape doing. Doing is necessary but so is being. Too much of doing and very little being can make us feel stressed out.
There is a poem that I came across called ‘Hakusai Says’ by Roger Keyes that beautifully conveys this idea of practicing presence. The poem to me is a reminder that life is much more than chasing after possessions, goals, vacations and survival-based actions. It is about feeling and feeling more deeply. I hope it touches you the way it touched me. Please read it slowly:
Hokusai says look carefully.
He says pay attention, notice.
He says keep looking, stay curious.
He says there is no end to seeingHe says look forward to getting old.
He says keep changing,
you just get more who you really are.
He says get stuck, accept it, repeat
yourself as long as it is interesting.He says keep doing what you love.
He says keep praying.
He says every one of us is a child,
every one of us is ancient
every one of us has a body.
He says every one of us is frightened.
He says every one of us has to find
a way to live with fear.He says everything is alive —
shells, buildings, people, fish,
mountains, trees, wood is alive.
Water is alive.Everything has its own life.
Everything lives inside us.
He says live with the world inside you.
He says it doesn’t matter if you draw,
or write books. It doesn’t matter
if you saw wood, or catch fish.
It doesn’t matter if you sit at home
and stare at the ants on your veranda
or the shadows of the trees
and grasses in your garden.
It matters that you care.It matters that you feel.
It matters that you notice.
It matters that life lives through you.
Contentment is life living through you.
Joy is life living through you.
Satisfaction and strength
is life living through you.He says don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid.Love, feel, let life take you by the hand.
Let life live through you.
by Roger Keyes
2 Quotes:
“Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”
- Allen Saunders
“Tortoises can tell you more about the roads than hares.”
- Khalil Gibran