My biggest lesson of the year

On repurposing my life to feel more alive!

I haven't written on Substack for a really long time. Somehow my motivation to write was weaning even though authentic self-expression is one of my core values. I knew there was something going on deep within my psyche that I had to uncover if I had to not just start writing again but live with greater zeal & enthusiasm.

I finally uncovered what it was & the knowledge set me free. Today, I want to share what I learnt with you.

Let's start from the very beginning.

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Rising dissatisfaction & unease

Photo by Kier in Sight Archives on Unsplash

If you are a reader, then you know I write about ‘conscious living’. It’s a subject close to my heart & I realized that I talk so much about it because deep down I want to live in a world where people are conscious of how their actions impact themselves & others, a world where people care enough to choose better actions that benefit not just themselves but humanity at large. Unconsciously I was building up expectations of creating a better world.

I was doing the same thing on a professional level with my work. I expected my clients to become better people, prioritize self-care & do what’s right for their body, mind & spirit just because I told them.

Not seeing the world, I so desperately wanted to see, and not seeing my clients as receptive to my teachings as I would want them to be started to build up a lot of dissatisfaction, cynicism and hopelessness within me.

I began to withdraw. Became dispassionate. I began to see expressing myself as wasted energy.

And I knew this was a sign that I had lost my way.

“We are most lost and feel most abandoned when we have lost touch with our own souls.” - Michael Meade

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Repurposing my life

Do not try to serve the whole world or do anything grandiose. Instead create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait their patiently, until the song that is yours alone to sing falls into your open cupped hands and you recognize and greet it. Only then you know how to give yourself to the world so worthy of rescue. - Clearing by Martha Postlethwaite

I realized the fault was not outside but within the recesses of my own mind. In my mind I believed that my purpose was to create a better world or to better someone’s life. And this purpose was not serving me.

I had no control over the world or the people in my life. And I had to let go of all expectations of their change or betterment.

My disconcerting feelings led me to a MOOC on Coursera called “Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life: Living for What Matters Most” taught by Professor Victor Stretcher. The MOOC gave me the direction I was looking for to repurpose my life. I went on to read the Professors book too on the subject.

My recrafted personal, family, work, social & community purpose

Personal:

To live an authentic life led by my heart. To resist the striving, grasping and chasing energy and allow myself to be my simple self, enjoying the simple pleasures of daily life. To experience the unfolding of my life with curiosity & compassion.

Family, work, social & community purpose:

To be an attentive mom, empathetic coach, loving friend and a supportive spouse. To build inspiring & caring communities where people feel seen.

I think that’s ample for me to feel excited every morning ✨🙂 My energy & focus is now directed towards aligning my daily actions to my purpose.

I won't ask you to reflect on my post or craft your own purpose. That's entirely your choice 🙂 But I do hope you enjoyed reading my journey.