Happy Friday!
And welcome to today’s edition of ‘Conscious living with Purnima’. I haven’t written a post in two weeks (life has a way of taking over). Not sure if you missed me but I did miss writing for you.
In today’s post I will talk about something I care about & spend a lot of time contemplating - it's the answer to the question, “what it means to live a fulfilling life?”.
I will share with you all that I have discovered on my journey. And I will structure it into 5 steps, so it is easy for you to comprehend & put into action.
I intend to use this post as a ‘Guideline’ for future use. You are welcome to follow suit :) Do share with others who you think might benefit from it.
Let’s dive in!
When I say fulfilling life, I ‘DO NOT’ mean outward material success. I have lived long enough to realize that material success does not always equate to fulfillment.
So, let’s first examine what is fulfillment. I will share a few definitions that I relate to:
'“A feeling of happiness because you are doing what you intended to do in life.”
- Cambridge dictionary
“The feeling of being happy and satisfied with what you are doing or have done.”
- Oxford dictionary
Now that we have some sense of what ‘fulfillment’ can mean, let’s move onto ways we can experience that:
1. Start with cultivating self-acceptance & self-compassion:
The journey to feeling fulfilled begins with complete self-acceptance. Not just parts of you that you like, but the whole of you - the flaws, the insecurities, past failures, current difficulties, unfulfilled desires, EVERYTHING. No matter where you are in life today, start with simply acknowledging yourself fully. This step might even awaken self-compassion as you begin to accept the parts of you & your life that you are uncomfortable about.
Also know that we have many hidden gifts and talents. These could remain hidden as they haven’t been acknowledged by people around us. But you can take the time to unearth them & acknowledge them for yourself.
To share my own personal experience, when I read some of my old posts from the year 2008, I realized that I have always been a very self-aware person. And that is a gift. And irrespective of anybody else noticing it, I can value that trait in myself and unapologetically express it.
Today, I invite you to unearth some of your own hidden gifts and bring them to light.
This step of self-acceptance & holding yourself in self-compassion is something you will need to come back to repeatedly as you go about living your life.
Some practices you can do to strengthen this step:
Commit to being there for yourself, NO MATTER WHAT.
Explore shadow work to integrate parts of you that you have disowned.
Fill your consciousness with teachings that inspire you. My go to teacher’s are: Thich Naht Hanh and Jetsunma Tensin Palmo. You find a teacher whose words soothe and inspire you.
“Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you; your feelings need you, your perceptions need you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there for all these things. Practice mindful walking and mindful breathing. Do everything in mindfulness so you can really be there, so you can love.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
“The purpose of the rose is to be the rose. Your purpose is to be yourself. You don’t have to run anywhere to become someone else. - Thich Nhat Hanh
2. Pay Attention
Pay attention to the unfolding of your life - how things shape up, what desires come up, who is coming into your life, who is leaving. You don’t need to become judgmental about anything, just notice.
Ramana maharishi puts it beautifully. He says:
“Let what comes come. Let what goes go. See what remains.”
Pay attention to what energizes you, what drains you, what spaces feel safe & what feel unsafe etc.
Practices to cultivate attention:
Consistent meditation practice.
Consistent mindfulness practice.
Journaling to document & reflect on whatever comes up for you.
“Pay attention to the things that you are naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion and purpose in life”. - Ruben chavez
“The first step to doing meaningful work is self-knowledge. Understand who you are. What fills you up? What empties you out? What are your values? what are your strengths, preferences, and orientations? Identify those, then go out into the world and look for those things that align as closely as possible with the key elements about you. - Jonathan Fields
3. Stay Curious
Being judgmental about every person and every situation is a sure shot way of being ill at ease. Instead stay open & curious.
Just as others don’t understand many things about you, there is a high possibility that you don’t understand many things about others. Isn’t it? By cultivating curiosity, you open yourself to building deeper connections that are based on honoring differences.
Same way, a disappointment with a life situation might appear like the worst thing but it could actually be leading you to something better.
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti
“Be curious. Not judgmental.” - Walt Whitman
4. Let go & allow your soul to express itself:
This is going to be the hardest step - to let go.
Let go:
of the ideas of how your life should be
of your desires
of your fears
When we hold on to our fears and desires & ideas of how our life should be, we interfere with true soul expression.
Our soul is always nudging us towards that which makes us come alive. Our job is to listen and honor those nudges. This can be hard as we are heavily conditioned by the society and have almost stilled our inner voice. But there is hope and as a start, we can set an intention to honor our soul’s needs.
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”-Rumi
“When we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.” - Wendell Berry
5. Hold on to your truth:
In the business of life and societal influences, it’s easy to lose our truth. By our truth I mean deep knowledge that we have discovered for ourselves on this journey of life. Something that cannot be easily put into words. Each one of us has to discover it. Many of us already have, but we have the tendency to ignore or disregard it.
If you have discovered/realized what that truth is for you, then don’t doubt it. Hold on to it. It is your North star. It is what will set you free.
“Seek the truth and truth shall set you free.” - John 8:32, The Bible
For the beginning, was wondering - if you have removed my name from your shareable names. Chukles! Trust all good inbetween the two weeks.
Wonderful writing and as always, your topic for the week, is commendable. My request - if you can, i reiterate, if you can - add quotes from Bhagavad Gita or Thirukural for the topics you write, it will be icing on cake. Cheers