Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today's edition of 'Conscious living with Purnima'. In today's post I talk about something that brings us immense joy as well as distress - Relationships. I will discuss 2 qualities that you can use to not only create new relationships that are satisfying but also to strengthen the existing ones.
I will also bring to light some of the errors we make in judgement by taking our thoughts at face value.
Let's dive straight into it.
Quality 1: Honesty
Be absolutely honest about who you are and what you value. Any relationship, personal or professional that is built on dishonesty, ambiguity or false perceptions is bound to backfire at some point.
For you to confidently apply this, you first need to know who you are, what you value, and everything you admire in yourself. This may sound fundamental but it is not. Cultivating a strong sense of self requires introspection. You may want to write down your values and most admirable traits.
Once you have done this, fully own these, and express more of them. People who align with those values and qualities, will then be drawn effortlessly to you. And you will feel seen, valued and respected in the relationship.
Also consciously minimise your time with people who don't value you for who you are. These could be relationships from the past that didn't have a solid base of honestly to begin with.
2. Reciprocity
Examine your existing relationships that are either stagnating or causing frustration. You may realize there is either lack of reciprocity or an imbalance of it.
For a relationship to flourish and remain valuable there needs to be some balance of ‘give and take'. Be it a relationship you have with an organization, community or a person.
If you realize you are taking too much and giving too less, then see how you can build yourself to add more value to the association. And if you are giving too much and taking too little then consider communicating your needs better.
Errors of judgement:
Sometimes we may come across someone who we think if present in our life will solve all of our life's problems (our supposed Saviour) or we desire to be part of a community that we feel will make us feel good or aspire for a dream job that we think will magically transform our life.
The truth is none of these thoughts may actually be true.
If there is one thing, I have learnt in the last one year, it is that the right people and right situations come into our life effortlessly.
If you are trying too hard, then something is not aligned. The best thing to do under such a circumstance is to let it go and trust the universe. That person, community or job may not be the right fit for you. Maybe not yet. LET IT GO for now.
“Let what comes come, let what goes go, see what remains.” - Ramana Maharishi
To Summarize:
1. At the risk of sounding hackneyed, 'be yourself '. You will save yourself a lot of future trouble.
2. Make sure the people/communities/organizations you are giving your time and energy to reciprocate it equally. If not, then either let them go (you deserve better) or find a way to communicate your needs.
3. Minimise your association with people, groups, communities or organisations who don’t value you for who you are. Increased associations will only make you suspect your own worth.
In a nutshell, look to create your future relationships and strengthen the current ones based on the two pillars of honestly and reciprocity.
PS: Last week I wrote a post on “Ditching Perfection”, (something our world is constantly pushing on us), in my other publication, 'Holistic Wellness with Purnima'. Link to the post is here : Ditch Perfection. Do consider subscribing to the other publication that has a whole different content.
A wonderful topic to start the week, and lot to introspect as where you stand in a true relationship; whether be it your spouse, friend or children. Beautifully summarised.