Self-care first!
A wake-up call to prioritize daily self-care.
Self-care as in the Oxford dictionary: noun. /ˌself ˈkeə(r)/ /ˌself ˈker/ the act of caring for yourself, for example by eating and sleeping well, taking exercise and getting help so that you do not become ill.
Our ‘achievements focused’ society has always prioritized productivity and racing to get ahead at the expense of self-care. Infact a lot of us do not understand what self-care is. We think slogging hard at work for 6 months and then taking a short vacation to recover from the stresses endured is self-care. Or getting an occasional spa treatment or going out for a drink with friends is self-care. None of these short-term fixes serve our long-term well-being. But this is a blind spot for a lot of us.
Dr Dimitrios a psychiatrist & writer at Psychology today said something thought provoking. He said:
“The system does not care about you. It cares about you being productive for its financial gain. It will replace you when you are no longer productive. Keep this in mind the next time you feel obligated to prioritize work over your loved ones.” - Dr Dimitrios, Psychiatrist & writer at Psychology today
What is true self-care?
In simple words it is saying yes to what serves your well-being & no to what does not, more often than less. It is paying attention to how you eat, how you move, how you sleep, how you regulate your emotions, how your state of mind is & how it’s all impacting you. If you are not paying attention to these aspects, then you are not practicing self-care. It’s as simple as that.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” - Lao Tzu
“It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too.” - H.W. Shaw
How can practicing intentional daily self-care help us?
✨ Prioritizing daily self-care can help us ingrain good habits that will serve us in the long term. Through repetition many healthy habits can be ingrained. And once the habit becomes subconscious it will start yielding returns.
✨ We will be more resistant to marketing gimmicks & less likely to get conned by businesses claiming to support us on our health journey but in reality, are “only” interested in making profits at our expense.
✨ We will have a better health span which is the quality of life we live as opposed to just quantity.
✨ We will be healthier, happier & more fulfilled.
Why don’t we practice intentional self-care?
Cultural conditioning:
We are conditioned to put self-care in the back burner. This is our auto pilot response brought about by years of societal conditioning.
Superficial approach to problem solving:
Most of us have a strained relationship with time. So, we try to seek quick fixes over patiently discovering the root causes of our problems and gradually making one small change at a time.
Gradual is a word that does not appeal to a lot of us.
Feeling overwhelmed:
Since we have never prioritized self-care, suddenly giving ourselves attention & care can seem overwhelming. It even feels unnatural & we may give up because it is unfamiliar.
Not living for oneself:
This is a major one that often gets overlooked. Most of us are slaves to society. We have lost our own voice & awareness of what’s the most important thing.
Pause & ask yourself, “Is the outcome the most important thing? What has our outcome focus done to us?” What it has done is ruin our capacity to be present and experience life, moment by moment. Moments are all we have but a lot of us are blind to this.
Jack Kornfield in his book, “The Path of Insight Meditation” says,
“Our lives are quite short. Our childhood goes by very quickly, then adolescence and adult life go by. We can be complacent and let our lives disappear in a dream, or we can become aware.”
What is the way forward?
Dig Deeper:
Instead of seeking superficial solutions identify root causes of problems you face in the realm of ‘Health, fitness & overall well-being”. Root causes can be found in our mindset (wrong ideas & beliefs), habitual ways of behaving (often detrimental) and environment (lack of support, kindness , encouragement, & empathy). Recognizing & calling these out is key to finding a more sustainable & permanent solution.
To share a personal story - For a very long time I could not take an afternoon nap. When I introspected this deeply, I realized it was because I was telling myself that I wasn't worthy of a nap. The voice of the society in me was questioning, “what amazing things I had accomplished to deserve a nap?” The moment I recognized that voice as not mine, I was free. Free to take a nap whenever I felt the need.
Bottomline: Dig deep.
“Keep asking what’s coming in the way & identify barriers. Call them out.”
Integrate Self-care into daily life:
We need to find ways to integrate self-care into daily life & treat self-care as a prescription for healthy ageing & not as something to do only when it’s convenient.
Get radical about this as soon as you awaken to the need of it.
Be a Community Champion:
I am building a “Daily Self Care Community” where we focus on practicing one healthy habit each week. It’s helpful as it gives everyone a chance to try something for 5 days in a row & experience the impacts of the practice. Even if it’s just a handful of people seriously practicing, those few people have the potential to create ripple effects in their communities.
Today we have a dire need to become intentional about self-care. So, if you are an individual who is genuinely interested in the well-being of your society then don’t hesitate to play the role of a community champion & bring people together to practice self-care. You don’t need to force it on others. Just lead by example. No individual is too small to bring about a positive change. In fact, it is individuals with “real passion” who have the power to make a difference as they are not blinded by greed for profits and do not function from a need to satisfy their egos.