Stop waiting. Start living.

On re-examining your mindset

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

Are you waiting to lose weight?

Waiting to get strong?

Waiting to get healthy?

Waiting for the perfect job or the perfect relationship?

Does life seem like one perpetual wait? If this sounds like you then pause and re-examine your mindset. 

Waiting is a mindset that keeps us anxious and wanting instead of being at peace & working in a balanced way. 

How the waiting mindset translates to the area of 'health and fitness'?

When new clients approach me for joining my classes and I ask them what's the reason for getting started with exercise, most often the answer I receive is, ‘I haven't been doing any exercise and now I have put on weight. I want to exercise and lose weight.’

The problem is not in wanting to lose weight but in remaining fixated with just that.

The Problem with ‘exercise to lose weight' fixation: 

Lose weight - is a result. And when we remain fixated on results alone, 2 things happen: 

A. We don't focus on the process or give ourselves the time to start enjoying the process as all of our attention is on when we will achieve the result.

B. We get frustrated when we don't see the result (in this case, weight loss) as soon as we would like and are compelled to give up.

So, what are the alternative ways of thinking?  

If any practice or a new habit is to be sustained then you need to either 

A. Enjoy doing it or

B. Give yourself the time to start enjoying it 

Going back to our ‘kick-starting an exercise program’ example, in addition to knowing what result is sought also contemplate on reasons to show up for the program that is tied to the process. In our example some of that, could be to:

- Find joy in movement 

This mindset will open your mind to paying attention to how the body & mind feel after exercise. Asking yourself if the exercise feels enjoyable will help you either come back for more or seek other forms of movement.

- Be curious about what can happen

This focus will open your mind to discovering what your body is capable of achieving with consistent efforts. A sense of curiosity will work as a driver to help you show up more often.

- Seek discipline

This mindset will help you focus on making exercise a habit.

- Build skill & technique

This mindset will help you focus on improving your movement mechanics, so you can move more gracefully and also stay injury free. 

These process oriented mindsets will have you stick around the path to better health and fitness longer. Helping you achieve your results without obsessing about it. 

Also when you have your mind focused on the process, you are no longer waiting. But taking action aka doing. And noticing the effects of the process.

You can take this idea/ approach to other aspects of your life as well. 

If you are preparing for an exam like me, then examine your mindset. Are you fixated on preparing to clear the exam (which is the result) or are you enjoying the process of learning? 

If you are trying to build better relationships then do you enjoy doing the little things that you know will bring joy to others or are you holding on to your expectations of how the relationship should turn out? 

If you have started a weight lifting program, then do you enjoy lifting weights, are curious about the changes your body and mind will experience as a result of your efforts or are you simply going through the motions and are fixated on how much fat you have lost or muscle you have gained? 

If you have adopted a new style of eating then do you know what about that style of eating you truly enjoy? 

Ask yourself these questions, if you haven't already. The answers will make you aware of where your focus is - on the process or on the outcome. If you find yourself fixated on the outcome then gently begin drawing your awareness to the process. This is to ensure you don't miss out on the learning opportunities and the joy that are present in the journey.

I will conclude this post with a quote for your Sunday reflection:

When an Archer is shooting for fun, he has all his skills 

If he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous

If he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind. 

Or he sees two targets - he is out of his mind 

His skill has not changed. 

But his prize divides him. 

He cares. 

He thinks more of winning

Than shooting -

And the need to win 

Drains his power 

- Chuang Tzu from ‘The Need to Win'