Taking Charge
On what it means to be in charge - of our health, fitness, finances, relationships & life at large
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.” - Richard P. Feynman
Profound 👆 and oh so true!
Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today's edition of ‘Conscious living with Purnima'. Today I talk about taking charge - what it means & how you can go about it.
Hope you enjoy reading.
Taking Charge
On what it means to be in charge - of our health, fitness, finances, relationships & life at large
Pick any area of your life that you are not satisfied with and ask yourself if you are really in charge of that area?
That brings us to the next question, what does being in charge really mean? I will try to answer that question, along with ways to stir yourself back on track, in case you have lost control.
From my perspective, being in charge involves:
A. Acknowledging that we need help:
Last week I learnt about the 'Einstellung effect'. In this phenomenon, an idea you already have in mind or a neural pattern you have already developed and strengthened, may prevent a better idea or solution from being found.
This happens to a lot of us when we falsely assume that we can figure things out by ourselves, when we actually lack the knowledge or expertise needed to make progress in the area of our lives where we find ourselves stuck.
What you can do to overcome this:
Be honest about what you know or don't know and seek help accordingly. Sometimes we need a different perspective or approach that can only come from outside our limited way of thinking.
"It may sound paradoxical, but strength comes from vulnerability. You have to ask the question to get the answer, even though asking the question means you didn't know."- Majid Kazmi.
B. Honouring ourselves & our needs:
When we undermine our needs thinking it might be inappropriate or unacceptable by others, we are not in charge.
What you can do:
Learn to articulate your needs and prioritise it for yourself.
“If you do not take control over your time and your life other people will gobble it up. If you don't prioritise yourself you constantly start falling lower and lower on your list.” - Michelle Obama
C. Staying rooted to what matters & makes sense for us:
When we sway to the whims and fancies of our external environment (family, friends, society, social media et. al) in an effort to be accepted, we are not in charge.
What you can do:
Ask yourself how you wish to show up for your life, often. And do what feels right in your heart.
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” - Thich Naht Hanh
D. Being self compassionate:
The best learning happens through making mistakes. If we are excessively hard on ourselves for committing them, then we are not taking charge in the right manner.
What you can do:
Making an effort to grow through taking responsibility is in no way easy. We are not always supported and given thumbs up for our efforts, so commit to being there for yourself, more so in the face of disappointment & feelings of inadequacy. Self compassion is necessary to keep moving forward.
“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my side.” - Maya Angelou
To conclude, being in charge is moving from automatic & reactive to deliberate & responsive.
The more choices you make, the more control you have over moving in the direction you wish to.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Victor Frankl
As a new week starts tomorrow, I invite you to pay attention to where you seem to lose control, reflect on why that happens (this is important & key to understanding yourself) & take action to claim ownership.
Well curated one Purnima