Happy Sunday!
And welcome to today's edition of 'Conscious living with Purnima'. In today's post, I share with you two action steps you can take when encountering triggers. Hope you find them useful.
Just as there are no good or bad foods (all foods have a place in our diet), so is the case with our emotions. There are no good or bad emotions. Every emotion that we encounter serves a purpose. There is a poem by Rumi called the 'Guest house' that beautifully illustrates this point:
The Guest House ~ Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Unlike a regular emotion, a trigger is usually stronger. And occurs in response to a situation or a person. Triggers can reveal a lot about us if we learn to pay attention.
Two Actions you can take when you are triggered negatively:
1. Ask yourself what about the person or situation is triggering you:
Just asking yourself this question, might reveal something.
I will share with you some of the things that I have been able to unravel in my own journey of working with triggers. Some of the things they can throw light on, are:
- Your ideas & beliefs that are not your own:
We all have deep rooted cultural conditioning that has been thrown down upon us by society / authority figures that don't serve us and need to be looked at squarely
- Your values
- Your unmet needs
- A crossed boundary
Once you have become aware of what's underneath the trigger, you can take the next action.
2. Put your learning to positive use:
A. Let go of what doesn’t serve:
If you are being triggered due to some past cultural conditioning, then have the courage to drop it. Remember that growth is possible, but for that you have to let go of old ideas. You need to have the courage to see things clearly & call out your own bullshit.
B. Stay tolerant:
People who share our values feel like home while those who don’t, can trigger us. Being tolerant of divergent values can be useful when dealing with others.
C. Meet your unmet needs:
If it's an unmet need causing a strong emotional reaction, then see how best you can fulfil it without overly depending on others.
D. Be assertive:
If it's a boundary that is being crossed, then explore how you can tactfully express your displeasure. And if this is a person you have to interact with frequently or a situation that you have to encounter often, then prepare yourself in advance so you are mentally & emotionally better equipped to handle the trigger.
E. Protect your emotional energy:
Situations and people that repeatedly trigger you are not good for your emotional health. Recognise this and find the courage to do something about it. Don't hesitate to ask for help, if that's what you need. I could not have said it better than Emily Maroutian on how important it is to protect your energy:
“Energy is the currency of the universe. When you “pay” attention to something, you buy that experience. So, when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates with the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive, not just within you, but in the collective consciousness as well.” - Emily Maroutian
As a new week starts tomorrow, I invite you to start paying attention to your triggers and what they are telling you.
Can you give some examples of triggers and how they can be tackled in your future articles? Triggers of anonymous people and their success stories.
This outline is wonderful. Thank you for sharing it out. It’s essentially what I’ve been trying to do....and you wrote it out with steps 🤓! I appreciate the extra guidance! Thank you so much for your presence here.